I want to stick my p in your. b.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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