Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
