Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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