id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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