If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
