She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
