i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
