i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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