i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
