They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
