I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
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Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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