what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
