my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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