I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
