I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize