How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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