you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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