even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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