like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
