That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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