So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize