The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
