I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
