At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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