so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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