my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think I sprained my soul last night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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