Porn is love you can see.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
