Well apparently he's into motor boating.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
