i permit you to call me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
