Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
where am i from again
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
