The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
