tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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