Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
