she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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