I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
