Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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