I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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