So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
