She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
