Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
