Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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