Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
