Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
