On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i permit you to call me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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