belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The power of my boobs compel you
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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