Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
