that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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