I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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