There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
