i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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