i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
