okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
