I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
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I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
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omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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