Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
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you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
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I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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