So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize