She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
