I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
