The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize