is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
