I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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