You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Small penises have feelings too.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
