She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
