my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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