She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Randomize
