Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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